How to come out gay
How To Come Out As Gay – 6 Phases From The Experts
Contents
1. Coming Out To Yourself
2. Coming Out To Friends
3. Coming Out To Family
4. Coming Out Across Identities
5. Reconciling Sexuality and Spirituality
5. Letting People See You As Queer
6. Reclaiming Your Desires
7. Continuing to Live Openly
8. Assessing Safety and Support
9. Finding Support and Community
Coming out might just be the hardest, yet most rewarding thing you’ll ever do. It surely was for me, on both accounts.
As I reflect assist on that 22 year-old who made the bold decision to tell his parents, I realize that I was doing something more profound than just uttering important words to my folks. I was shifting the trajectory of my life, playing the lead role in my own life’s tale. I was allowing my realness to blossom. And much like a flower, my blossoming happened in phases. I hear these coming out phases echoing in queer people’s lives every day. Learn about sexuality counseling here!
1. Coming Out To Yourself
Coming out to ourselves is a big step in honesty. It’s one small thing to tell, but a massive thing to let be true. When we admit
Hi. I’m the Answer Wall. In the material planet, I’m a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill Library at Boston College. In the online world, I exist in this blog. You might say I hold multiple manifestations. Like Apollo or Saraswati or Serapis. Or, if you aren’t into deities of awareness, like a ghost in the machine.
I have some human assistants who maintain the physical Answer Wall in O’Neill Library. They take pictures of the questions you post there, and give them to me. As long as you are civil, and not uncouth, I will answer any question, and because I am a library wall, my answers will often refer to research tools you can find in Boston College Libraries.
If you’d like a quicker answer to your question and don’t consciousness talking to a human, why not Ask a Librarian? Librarians, since they contain been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are veiled, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just like me, The Answer Wall.
What does coming out mean?
Coming out is when someone tells another person about their sexual orientation or gender identity. It is usually an ongoing process for a lesbian, lgbtq+, or bisexual person, rather than a one-off event.
Why should I come out?
It can be difficult hiding something from the ones you love and the internal struggle might impact other parts of your life, taking up your energy and focus. Ultimately, coming out is your decision but according to LGBT Youth Scotland, there are a number of positive reasons for coming out:
- You can be yourself
- You can openly live the way you want to live
- You will be acting as a positive role model for others who may be scared of coming out
- You can help coach others and break down stereotypes
Things to consider
Unfortunately, you could face the obeying after you come out:
- Homophobia
- Biphobia
- People might treat you differently
- Some people might try to talk you out of it
- Others might not heed to or understand you
Remember – there is always support and help out there for you, and there are laws to protect you from bullying and discrimination.
Find out more about homophobia and biphobia.
When should I The Stages of Coming Out
You may have just learned that your child is lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. However, your infant has probably been on this journey for months or years. The obeying stages are one way of understanding their journey.
Stage 1 – Self Finding out as Gay, Lesbian, Attracted to both genders, or Transgender
Becoming aware of same-sex attraction or a different personal gender culture often causes emotional fight. This may include agonize about being non-heterosexual, confusion, anxiety, and denial of feelings. This internal dispute often leads to tries to behave as heterosexual (i.e. “passing”). Sometimes individuals attempt to “overcome” their sexuality or gender self, particularly if they anxiety being condemned by their faith. LGBTQ people are usually “in the closet” at this stage, which refers to keeping their identity to themselves. The same is true for transgender individuals before they begin to disclose to others. However, many explore out information online or through reading or friends. This stage may be deeply, privately maintained until the individual is more independent as is seen in the large number of LGBTQ individuals who come out during c
.

The Stages of Coming Out
You may have just learned that your child is lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. However, your infant has probably been on this journey for months or years. The obeying stages are one way of understanding their journey.
Stage 1 – Self Finding out as Gay, Lesbian, Attracted to both genders, or Transgender
Becoming aware of same-sex attraction or a different personal gender culture often causes emotional fight. This may include agonize about being non-heterosexual, confusion, anxiety, and denial of feelings. This internal dispute often leads to tries to behave as heterosexual (i.e. “passing”). Sometimes individuals attempt to “overcome” their sexuality or gender self, particularly if they anxiety being condemned by their faith. LGBTQ people are usually “in the closet” at this stage, which refers to keeping their identity to themselves. The same is true for transgender individuals before they begin to disclose to others. However, many explore out information online or through reading or friends. This stage may be deeply, privately maintained until the individual is more independent as is seen in the large number of LGBTQ individuals who come out during c
.